Sunday, May 11, 2008

the meat man

I don't ordinarily consider myself one of those people who enjoys thumbing through a People magazine or the National Star or whatever celeb gossip pages the tweens are buzzing about. In fact, I would say I pride myself on the fact that I couldn't pick Hannah Montana out of the line up of Melrose Place. Yesterday, however, I had a sighting that made my pants really dirty really quick; Stew, the meat man.

Stew, of course, appeared in the three season long Comedy Central series Strangers With Candy. The show is an after school special featuring Amy Sedaris as a 46 year old ex-boozer/user/loser who returns to high school to make the same mistakes, but this time she's doing it the right way. The series, which also featured Paul Dinello and Stephen Colbert, is bar none my favorite show that has ever appeared on television. Between the series and the 2003 movie, guest appearances were made by Paul Rudd, Winona Ryder, Will Ferrell, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Sarah Jessica Parker, Cheri Oteri, Matthew Broderick, Janeane Garofalo and more. To see Stew, then, turned me back into a 15 year old girl clamoring to see JC Chavez after the fall of the N*Sync empire.

I'm at home in Illinois writing this post after a mid-finals family wedding break. My cousin Pat was married last night, and for me the wedding was a perfect union of drinking and dancing. Particularly, I thoroughly enjoy seeing those periphery family friends I would never have otherwise seen or spoken to. There's something about seeing a few of the folks that formed memories my brain has intentionally repressed today, in their current state, that is oddly gratifying. Not to mention that the Napleton family is bigger and baudier than your average room full of car dealers.


Gambling, anyone? I placed my first bet on a sports betting website called CentSports this morning, Cubs over Diamondbacks on the money line. The site is a free site where you are originally given $0.10 and may place bets with Vegas odds on most games, and potentially win actual cash. Ordinarily I wouldn't bother to investigate a sites real potential to cash out, but I give props my teammate Yosef who has already cashed a check from the site for introducing me to it. On the plus side, anytime you lose the original ten cents, you get another ten cents. The site derives profit entirely from advertisements, and you'll never have to gamble away that new kidney money!

Monday, May 05, 2008


Check these out, because it's good for your soul;

Horrible People
A mini soap-drama with members from the cast of Wet Hot American Summer and Flight of the Conchords created by A.D. Miles. Watch the teaser, and you'll be saying, "tough titty said the kitty, but the milk's still good" in no time.

Wainy Days

For any fans of Amy Sedaris, Michael Showalter, and Stella; check out this mini-series. It's a little off-beat and more absurd, but still has the ability to induce involuntary urination. Peep this episode featuring Paul Rudd as 'Mystery'-ous dating expert, Alias.


Meanwhile, here comes two very shitty weeks of academics. For all those who find themselves cramming this week just to puke it out next week, I raise a silent fist to you.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Notre Dame, Stumble

Don't hate, quit hating, don't be a hater, stop continuing to possess hatred... It's been a long hiatus. So it's been a while, so I've been "masturbating" and "crying" too much and haven't been writing; don't get all sensitive. It's not you babe, it's me.

I have been reasonably busy. Not busy like having a full-time job, or a part-time job, but busy like drinking all the hours I'm not studying. Most recently, I've accomplished perhaps the biggest feat of my excessive college experience. The warm weather arrived about two weeks ago in Madison, and after the veritable motherfucker of a winter, was welcomed with open beers. Thus began a nine day bender that can be summed up in a few words; Chicago Cubs, Wii bowling, Old Style, the porch, pornography, Samba music, and more pornography. My roommate John and I were the only two in the house with the cajones to make it all nine days, but I guess that's just what separates the alcoholics from the boys.

Two weeks ago, I went down to visit my sister Katie at Notre Dame. The Saturday of that weekend was an event the Irish call Pigtostal, which makes shit for sense except that it's a pig roast. After some careful coordination, I was able to spend Friday night at the University of Illinois with my dime-breezy Natalie as well as my favorite Bass Wrangler (though he specializes in Mogans) Pat. After leaving at the buttcrack of dawn, we met my brother Matthew and Katie and began the festivities.

I'll preface my next comment with a disclaimer: I do not normally speak favorably of the University of Notre Dame. It is not far down the list of things I hate beyond #2 sticky hands, or #3 running. That said, I had a great time at the party and later that night. Looking back, my surprisingly fun time can be explained by simple mathematics. According to the Associative Property, it is given that,
a.)I have fun with Katie and
b.)Katie has fun with friends

Danny + Katie = fun
Katie + Katie's friends = fun
Danny + Katie's friends = Lucky for Katie's friends

Think about it. I haven't.


In other news, if you are looking to forfeit your free time and get in touch with that inner geek, check out Stumble Upon. It's a internet surfing tool that fits in the toolbar of your web browser that puts preset categories of random interesting websites just one click away. By giving a website a thumbs up or thumbs down, the program determines which sites other users have found interesting that you are more likely to enjoy. Basically, the longer you do it, the better it gets at giving you pages you are going to like. Beware; by turning your porno machine into a bona fide web browser, expect to waste countless hours.