Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Notre Dame, Stumble

Don't hate, quit hating, don't be a hater, stop continuing to possess hatred... It's been a long hiatus. So it's been a while, so I've been "masturbating" and "crying" too much and haven't been writing; don't get all sensitive. It's not you babe, it's me.

I have been reasonably busy. Not busy like having a full-time job, or a part-time job, but busy like drinking all the hours I'm not studying. Most recently, I've accomplished perhaps the biggest feat of my excessive college experience. The warm weather arrived about two weeks ago in Madison, and after the veritable motherfucker of a winter, was welcomed with open beers. Thus began a nine day bender that can be summed up in a few words; Chicago Cubs, Wii bowling, Old Style, the porch, pornography, Samba music, and more pornography. My roommate John and I were the only two in the house with the cajones to make it all nine days, but I guess that's just what separates the alcoholics from the boys.

Two weeks ago, I went down to visit my sister Katie at Notre Dame. The Saturday of that weekend was an event the Irish call Pigtostal, which makes shit for sense except that it's a pig roast. After some careful coordination, I was able to spend Friday night at the University of Illinois with my dime-breezy Natalie as well as my favorite Bass Wrangler (though he specializes in Mogans) Pat. After leaving at the buttcrack of dawn, we met my brother Matthew and Katie and began the festivities.

I'll preface my next comment with a disclaimer: I do not normally speak favorably of the University of Notre Dame. It is not far down the list of things I hate beyond #2 sticky hands, or #3 running. That said, I had a great time at the party and later that night. Looking back, my surprisingly fun time can be explained by simple mathematics. According to the Associative Property, it is given that,
a.)I have fun with Katie and
b.)Katie has fun with friends

IF
Danny + Katie = fun
Katie + Katie's friends = fun
THEN
Danny + Katie's friends = Lucky for Katie's friends




Think about it. I haven't.

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In other news, if you are looking to forfeit your free time and get in touch with that inner geek, check out Stumble Upon. It's a internet surfing tool that fits in the toolbar of your web browser that puts preset categories of random interesting websites just one click away. By giving a website a thumbs up or thumbs down, the program determines which sites other users have found interesting that you are more likely to enjoy. Basically, the longer you do it, the better it gets at giving you pages you are going to like. Beware; by turning your porno machine into a bona fide web browser, expect to waste countless hours.